You Say the Nicest Things...

Salesman; "There's no question that you are the strictest boss I've ever had! I can't go to the bathroom without worrying that I'm doing something wrong."

Me; "That's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me."

Salesman; "Really?"

Me; "Yes. That statement and the word 'Goodbye' are both equally pleasurable when they're coming out of your mouth."

Fishing With Stupid Bait...

Me; "The reason I wanted to speak with you privately is that your fellow salespeople are ready to burn you at the stake for hawking leads and generally acting like a jackass."

Salesman; "I really didn't mean to take someone's customer, I was just walking the lot and..."

Me; "You KNOW we have a rotation right?"

Salesman; "Yes sir"

Me; "You KNOW it wasn't your turn right?"

Salesman; "Yes sir. I'll go apologize to the guys and make it right."

Me; "No need. I told them you were mentally delayed and a little tone deaf to social norms. The great thing is that the ridiculous shirt you're wearing and that stupid look on your face confirmed what I was telling them and they bought it, hook, line and sinker!"

She's a Princess... with a nasty case of leprosy.

Friend; "I have to say, and don't get pissed, but your truck is a nightmare wrapped in a dream and dipped in crazy!"


Me; "How Dare You! That's my leprosy princess!"


Friend; "I'm just sayin..."


Me; "Shut your filthy pie suck! My truck is a princess... just getting off work at the Nighty Night strip club/ title loan house. She just wants a nice All Star Breakfast at the Waffle House and someone to power sand her corns while she smokes her Camel Light and gently falls asleep watching The Price is Right!


Don't judge me and don't judge my princess!"

Math and Mistakes...

Me; "It looks like you have 73 past due follow up calls to make. Please catch that up as soon as you can."

Salesman; "Are you sure? I didn't think I even had that many customers!"

Me; "How many customers did you think you had?"

Salesman; "I don't know, 40 or 50?"

Me; "Well, you actually have 78 customers in the system since you were hired. That being said and since it looks like you have only called back 5 customers according to my records, can you tell me why the other 35 to 45 imaginary customers didn't get a call back?"

Salesman; "I see your point..."

Child Labor Woes...

One of these is woefully inept and requires grammatical and punctuation assistance to be a coherent communication to an adult.

The other is written by a 7 year old and it's just fine...


If it weren't for child labor laws, I'd have an office for the latter. Clear, well written and conversationally written. Excellent job Shelby... As for the other...

Fruit Tree of Professionalism...

Salesman; "... I don't see what's wrong with it the way I wrote it!"

Me; "I can see that, but it baffles me that we have to go over this again."

Salesman; "I write like I talk and I'm just going to be straight forward no matter what."

Me; "All I'm saying is when you write, 'WTF is up with this guy.' in an email to your boss, you have to expect a call sooner or later." It's just short of the low hanging fruit I like to think of as professionalism."

Tribal Writing Skills...

Salesperson; "I don't get why you are always bothering me about my spelling and punctuation on (stuff) like emails!"

Me; "Maybe it's because you are always messing them up!"

Salesperson; "What are you, my English teacher?"

Me; "That's impossible."

Salesperson: "You're right, It's impossible because I'm older than you and..."

Me; "No, it's impossible because with writing like this, I refuse to believe you were taught by any teacher at all. In fact, I was torn between wolves and a remote South American tribe that fears literacy and worships rocks."

Checklists and Exhaustion...

When the term "Monkey Punch" finds its way on my daily todo list, it's time for a break...

Mass Mailer Boo Boos...

Me; "I'm going to ask that you stop sending email templates as far as your communications to customers are concerned."

Salesperson; "Why, it makes it easier to reach out to more people than I could one-by-one."

Me; "Reaching out to more people at once isn't always the best course of action."

Salesperson; "In sales, when would it possibly be a bad idea to touch base with MORE people?!"

Me; "In your case, when your email template has your own name misspelled in the signature."

Open Letter to the Soft Ones...

Open letter to anyone that may be offended by my "Moments of Enlightenment"

"Moments of Enlightenment" may... (strike that)... WILL make fun of something observed as absurd, funny, or outright ignorant. If you are prone to doing these things within my sight, please know that the situation may be used for entertainment purposes at a later date. Although your name will NEVER be revealed in such a post, if you are particularly soft, gentle spirited, likely to cry in the rain, likely to cry in the movies, or use terms like "bare my soul" for anything other than getting out of trouble for buying something your wife didn't say you could buy (sorry honey) then maybe you should unfriend or even block me.
I'm okay if you choose to do so and there's no hard feelings! In truth, I was just thinking I have too many friends right now and need to cull the herd anyway, so it all works out. If it makes you feel better, I'll bottle my tears and mail them to you in a crystal container wrapped in a silk purse. Maybe, after I've longed for your presence in my life, we can reunite and hire a violinist to play background while we embrace in slow motion? Not film it in slow motion, really move slowly so that we can feel every moment of our joint emotions as we mend what was broken...
No rush, just think about it. I'll wait right by the phone until you call.

You Should have Known Better...

Today a friend and salesperson made the horrible mistake of riding past me on a "leg cart" in the hall. While I wish him a speedy recovery, this is what ultimately came of the situation... 

The tassels were thrown in with the basket but don't sleep on the addition of the old school squeaky bell and horn.

Good Week...

On the whole this was a good week. Meaning I only shopped for a usable flame thrower and Easter Bunny suit twice since Wednesday!

Wonder Woman, Chameleon Cat Milker...

So, I've explained to my department that they must be Wonder Women, using their lassos of truth to ask customers questions, bracelets to deflect objections, and invisible jet to ease into any situation.

 (I insisted we watch a 1970's Wonder Woman episode for research)

A few weeks ago, I added that they must also be chameleons to blend with a customer's mood.
This week I added we must extract the sometimes difficult sales from the network of leads available to us like milking a cat...


Here's to my Wonder Women, chameleon cat milkers! Under my Stalin-like leadership we're bound for success just like the Soviet Union!!! Okay, maybe that was a bad example but you get the point...

Service Calls...

Family "friend"; "Hey, my sister bought this trailer from you guys and says there's a couple of things she needs fixed. What does she need to do and when are you coming out near here to see your dad?"

Me; "No problem, just have her call our service department and let them know she picked up last week. They will rush her unit through our 30 day department to get her back on the road ASAP! Oh, and about coming out there... Never."

Siri... Can you Hear Me?

Me; "Hey, what are you working on?"

Salesman; "Trying to get Siri to give me the score from yesterday's Ranger game."


Me; "Can I see it for a minute? I think you're doing it wrong."

Salesman; "Sure, give it a shot."

Me; "Siri, please strike this salesperson with lightning... Siri, do it. Do it now!!!"

Theft and Other Great Ideas...

Salesperson; "I'd like to take credit for the whole sale on at least two split deals but give the ½ commission to the other salesmen involved so that I can hit my bonus goal."

Me; "Absolutely not. It's theft, and more importantly it's theft on my watch!"

Salesperson; "Times like this, when I really need something, I realize how much of a 'company man' you are!"

Me; "Times like this, when you come at me with utter nonsense, I realize we aren't drug testing nearly enough!"

Sentsy Nonsense...

Finance Manager; "You doing okay?"

Me; "Sure. I just have a very sensitive nose and the candles you guys are burning back here have a very distinct smell."

Finance Manager; "Smells okay to me."

Me; "Yes, but I can smell the subtle nuances you may not be able to detect... such as a hint of lemon grass, sandalwood, and pixie breath, combined with the bottled scent of a camel's ass, dipped in molasses."

Finance Manager; (laughing) "You smell all of that?!"

Me; "It's a gift and a curse"

Committed to Messing Up...

Me; "How did you accidentally turn off the breakers to the BDC office last night?"

Salesperson: "I'm color blind and sometimes I miss the blue tape that labels the ones we're supposed to turn on and off."

Me; "I'm not an eye doctor so explain how color blindness prevents you from reading the sign on those breakers that says DO NOT TOUCH or the tape holding them in the ON position?"

Salesperson; "I just missed it."

Me; "I applaud your commitment to ignorance my friend."

The Author... The Legend...

After recording the entire 2015 Year's worth of "Insane Sayings", my BDC (Business Development Center) crew had this book printed for me! I keep it with me at all times... Loved that crew!

In the Land of Dixie...

Me; "Although I was born in the Deep South and empathize with your sense of southern pride, I'm going to have to ask you to remove your 6' Dixie Flag and pole from the bed of your truck while it's here on the property."

Employee; "I didn't think it was bothering anyone."

Me; "That's unfortunate because I would hope such an effort to make people feel uncomfortable would yield more fruit. It makes me sad for you"

Employee; "Really?"

Me; "Hell no, get that sh&t off your truck!"

Role Models...

All I ever wanted to be was a combination of Shaka Zulu, Billy Jack, Stalin, "The Brain" from Pinky and The Brain, and Robert McNamara.
How can any of that be wrong?

Be a Shark...Cause You Can't Be Me...

Me; "... so if you are worried about asking for the sale, put yourself more in the position of presenting so much value to the customer they can't help but say yes to ownership. Sell from confidence, not from fear. Be a shark in an ocean of dolphins!"

Salesperson; "Is that what you were when you were on the floor, a shark?"

Me; "No, I was a killer whale eating sharks for lunch."

Salesperson; "What about ______ and ______?"

Me; "They were killer whales too... we were all killer whales"

Salesperson; "and us?"

Me; "Right now, you are Goldfish... and not the good kind but the half distorted, fat bodied, big eyed ones that swim like a tennis ball with fins! You disgust me in a profound way... I'm sorry what was the question?"

Grandboss... It's a Thing...

Employee; "I may need an extra day off next week to go to a doctor appointment. I'm pregnant!"

Me; "That is so awesome!!!(tearing up) but... let's not get crazy with the unnecessary time off. 

Besides we need to work out a tentative delivery room protocol and schedule."

Employee; "What?!"

Me; "I know as a grandboss I'm one of the first three that'll hold the baby in the delivery room. I just need to know who to hand the baby to third, your mom or your husband?"

Employee; "No, you will not be in the delivery room! Are you insane?!"

Me; "Who else is going to hold the baby in the air like in The Lion King?"

Employee; (shocked)

Me; "Think!"

My Favorite Saying... By Me...

My new favorite saying...

"I think you and I can only find happiness at the threshold of your complete and utter obedience."

Namon 2016

My Mother Said...

Salesperson (2 hrs after close); "Sorry it took so long, the customer couldn't make up her mind."

Me; "At least we're here now. Let's get this deal!"

Salesperson; "They may want to think about it over night..."

Me (interrupting); "It IS night!"

Salesperson; "I mean..."

Me; " My mother told me to never to HATE anyone but she doesn't know you."

X-Rays and Expectations...

Me; "So when we're done, do I take these to my doctor to review?"

X-Ray tech; "No, we'll send them over."

Me; "Okay, just cut me a copy so I can take a look."


X-Ray tech; "Sorry, I can't do that..."

Me; "Listen, I've had a long day of pain and aggravation so far, let's not do this dance where I get irate and have to 'act a fool' over pictures of my own skeleton. Just give me what I want."

X-Ray tech (laughing); "That's the most polite dress down I've ever received! Sure, I'll make you a copy of the disc."

Me; "Thanks, it's all I had strength for today. Maybe you can piss me off another day and I'll give you a show!"

Testimonials...

Past Employee...




Wasn't my boss but was my manager for the lot I worked on Namon Hollis was a great man an manager an I'm positive he still is...





I believe her...

Logic and Flow Charts...

Fellow Manager.; "I don't understand how this customer got referred to the __________ store instead of ours! WTF?"

Me; "The customer is looking for a unit you don't have in stock and the other store that has it is an equal distance from them so..."


Fellow Manager.; "We still should have got that one, we could have sold him something else."

Me; "So, your argument is that we should have kept the fact that the unit they want is equally close to them, steered them to a location where it isn't, and trust that you're good enough to convince them that it wasn't what they wanted in the first place. Rather than simply pointing them to our best and most obvious chance of selling them today?"

Fellow Manager (Laughing); "Well..."

Me; "You should play these things out in your head before acting on them... Maybe write it out in a flow chart to see the flawed logic beforehand. It'll save you humiliations like this."

Grand Opening...

I'm coming to Denton and I want ALL of my share and most of yours as well. Ms. Doretha, my nanny, told me I was the "Most Specialist" child and your problem is that I believed her. She dressed me in white and said other children were dirty and not to be played with.
Therefore, I'm buying a white suit and I'm coming... and I ain't playing when I arrive!

Puppet Master...

Salesman; "I think we have a deal if we'll throw in free vent covers, a washer/dryer, and deliver it at no more than 4% interest!"

Me; "That's not possible with our pricing. Did you explain the value, that no one in the nation can compete with this price..."

Salesman; "C'mon man... I'm a good salesman and I'm just trying to work on a sale here!"

Me; "No, you are a dancing puppet and the only one working on this deal is the customer who, I must say, is doing an outstanding job of controlling you from wherever they are sitting right now!"

Salesman; "Really!?"

Me; " So much so, I'm wondering if they have a case they can fold you up and put you in when they're done."

Roller Coaster of Incompetence...

Salesperson; ; "I have a deal to work up!" (handing me a folder)

Me; (after a minute looking it over and finding no address, last name, or phone number in the system)

Salesperson; "Oh sh&t, by your look I can tell I messed up, can I have it back?"

Me; "No you may not! We are now both on the roller coaster that is your utter incompetence and we shall ride it to the bitter end, even though you have no seatbelt and I fully intend for you to fall out!"

Label Maker Day!

A Hornet, a Clown and Other Proof I'm Right!

Salesman; "I swear I put that [paperwork] in the file!"


Me; "You didn't, because if you had, I'd feel no need to remind you that it's your job to do so."


Salesman; "Your wrong, I put it in there!"



Me; "There are many things that I am and have been, a Hornet in my high school pep rally, a pool player, a lobbyist, a drinker, a clown, a salesman, and a mechanic. I've been Catholic, and Baptist, I was lost and now by the grace of God Almighty, I'm found. The one thing I haven't been yet is wrong about the failures of a salesperson so I'm headed to get the file and see if there's a new experience around the corner."


Salesman; (when I return 15 minutes later) "So, what did you find?"


Me; "I found that the sun still shines, my mother still loves me, I'm right as usual and your as wrong as you are ignorant."


Salesman; (laughing) "Your just mean!"


Me; "Let me add observant to your list... there! Wrong, Ignorant and Observant"

Lessons in Listening...

Salesman(calling me on my cell); "I have an emergency and need you to change a couple of things on this deal..."

Me; "I'm not there"


Salesman; "The customer changed units on me last minute and..."


Me; "I'm not at the dealership, did you hear me?"


Salesman; "All I need is the hitch changed and maybe..."


Me; "You know what? Just bring it to me, I'm at the far side of the lot in the second fifth wheel near the end of the row. Make sure you bring a pen and hurry, it's about to rain!"

Sensitivity...

Salesman; "I can't handle you busting my balls today, looks like I'm going to lose my girlfriend."


Me; "I'm sorry, but... Never mind"


Salesman; "What?"


Me; "I'm curious if this will effect your concentration and by extension your sales?"


Salesman; "Leave it to you to always make it about the money... No I'll be the same as usual. You won't notice a thing."


Me; "That's what I was afraid of!"

Birthday Wishes 2016...

This was the sign and cake my beloved BDC crew made for my birthday in 2016... They Loved Me... They Really Loved Me!!

5-Hour Energy and Other Great Decisions...

I'm one 5-Hour Energy away from working in multiple dimensions at the same time!!!

My Good Day versus Your Good Day!

Oh, so you say you had a good day? I see your "good day" and raise you a drunk driver, police officer and a dog in pink panties that refuses to "come to momma."

Accidental Discharge Impossible...

That's right, the ad says it in Black and White! Accidental discharge is impossible...

The kind of "no holds barred" approach to sales I try to instill.

Marketing... Old School!

This is sales with no borders. Stripped of the enamel of political correctness and decorum. Served with no garnish....

Just, "Buy it or else..."

The edge of the envelope kinda marketing that says, "So I'm implying men should beat their wives! So what of it!" Yikes!

Chasing Dreams...

Employee (joking); "I don't think the job is going to work out. I really have to get a job that allows me to chase my dreams and......"


Me; " You had me at 'I don't think' therefor...(deep breath)
I agree wholeheartedly and bid you goodbye, fare thee well, and whatever word they use in Hawaii that means hello and goodbye at the same time. Either way, I have to go make money now."


Employee; "So that's it, you would let me go?"


Me; "If you love something, you have to let it... (Laughing) Sorry, I tried to hold a straight face on that one! No problem kid, chase your dreams. I'm certain it'll turn out well!


Employee; "Thanks! I really..."


Me; "Oh, you thought I meant for you? No, it'll be a horrible and painful disappointment you may never recover from. I meant it'll turn out well for me! I'm secure and gonna eat next month. You? Not so much...

Selling and Dieting...

Salesman; "I'm having a pretty rough month and really need this deal!"


Me; " No problem! Let's put this together. We've got the lowest price by nearly $1300 and he loves the color and floor plan. Should just be a matter of setting up a pickup date."


Salesman; "Well he wants a better deal."


Me; "We have the BEST deal. How do you get better than BEST?"


Salesman; "Well I'll lose him if we don't come down and I REALLY need this deal!"


Me; "Well I really need to lose some weight but neither of us can achieve our goals unless we put in the work! I'm gonna walk away from you and burn some calories contemplating your nonsense. How about you go properly "feature/benefit" the fifth wheel again and we'll meet back here and see if I weigh less and you have a deal!"

My Goals (Part Deux)... cause the French makes it sound Perdy...

Employee; "Mr. Hollis, can I talk to you?"


Me; "Sure"


Employee; "Some of the guys think you're a little intense when it comes to selling these things. Maybe you should relax a little, we're doing great!"


Me; "I have a response to them in two parts..  First, I'm intense like a South African Great White shark scoping a seal in the shallows, if seals are sales. I only want to know which of the "some guys" didn't think I was intense cause they're not paying sufficient attention.
Second, I can't relax because sitting on the floor ain't comfortable. I want to sit on a couch made of money with a solid gold ottoman! Until we sell enough for that it's impossible for me to relax."

My Goals Minus the Golden Phone...

Me; "Well, we gave it a shot fellas. All we can do is what we can do... Maybe tomorrow will be a better day...


Salesman; "We sold 3 and had we had better luck on credit, it would have been 5! What do you mean? Isn't that a good day?!"


Me; "Sure! You guys did great. I guess I just set my goals for the day too high."


Salesman; "I'm afraid to ask but what was your goal?"


Me; "To have other dealers line up at my feet and kiss the ring as Stacy Dash reminds them to be careful not to soil my hand with their unclean lips. While money rains down from the heavens with the soft purr of my Lamborghini slightly muffling the soft purr of my albino Lion. All while Warren Buffet explains to me (on my gold phone given to me by a reincarnated Ronald Reagan and John F. Kennedy on my birthday) that Jarrod simply won't let me do consulting work for him in Japan because the new store in Hawaii is in need of my particular motivational skills"


Maybe I aimed a bit high today... I'll shave the gold phone for tomorrow's expectations. That's where I went wrong."

True Love with an Ice Machine in Vegas...

Employee; "I made a mistake I need to tell you about."


Me; "Okay, go."


Employee; ( 20 minutes of verbal salad with excuses peppered in for flavor and apologies garnishing the edges for mercy )


Me; "I can't understand how that could have happened! We have procedures specifically to prevent exactly this issue! I want everyone involved in my office..."


Employee; "I know, but haven't you ever made a mistake?"


Me; "Yes, I once got drunk in Vegas and very nearly married the ice machine at the hotel!


Employee; "Really!?"


Me; "No you idiot! I just said that to make your mistake seem less ridiculous and you know what? It didn't work!"

Real Talk... (Written at the peak of racial tensions in 2016)

15 years ago we watched as the horrific attack on our country unfolded. In the days and weeks that followed we grieved, comforted, and ultimately did what Americans do... survived.

What strikes me most about today is how far we've fallen from the unbreakable unity we found in our grief and anger following this tragedy. For months following the attack there was no "Black" or "White" or rich or poor. No cops, gangsters, men or women. No gay or straight, no educated or illiterate. There was only American.

Let's be American again.

Ice Cold Spoons and Other Training Materials...

Salesman; "I'm trying to get some of my customers to come in and make a decision. It's just hard to get them..."


Me; " Shhhh... have no worries. I think the issue is that I haven't done MY job and sufficiently motivated you."


Salesman; "No, I don't think that's...."


Me; "Shhhh... it's okay. I have a plan.


Salesman; "What's that?"


Me; "Due to the Geneva Convention, I can't go into it right now but it may or may not involve water boarding you followed by inventive uses of an ice cold spoon."


Salesman; "Water boarding!"


Me; "That's interesting, I would have been more concerned with the spoon."

Smoking is Bad for You...

Salesman; "I'm really uncomfortable with you having that lighter in your pocket."


Me; "Why are you uncomfortable, don't you have a lighter in yours to smoke?"


Salesman; "Yes, but that's different."


Me; "Why, mine is just like yours."


Salesman; "Yes but only one of us threatened to set the other's desk on fire if they didn't sell something today and you don't smoke!"


Me; "That is what attorneys will call circumstantial evidence later if that's not a deal in your hand."

VooDoo Writeup...

We're gonna hit our sales goal this month... or else.

Jim Jones... Master Motivator?

Me; "I'm bringing Kool-Aid and gold rimmed sunglasses tomorrow and we're selling or drinking and nobody leaves until we've hit our goal or the senators arrive!!!"


Salesman; "Wait, did you just make a Jim Jones reference as a motivational speech!?"


Me; "Maybe?"


Salesman; "You realize that's almost as bad as using Manson or..."


Me; "Calm down. Manson was a crazy racist freak. Jim Jones was a master motivator that may or may not have made some ultimately questionable decisions... and thought he was... Oh, okay, I see your point."


Salesman; "Good!"


Me; "We're still drinking Kool-Aid tomorrow unless we hit goal!"

Reasonable to me...

Salesman; " What more do you want from me!? I asked all the right questions, showed all the right product and did my very best. I just need to know what you're expecting."


Me; "Calm down, it's going to be okay. All I want is your utter and complete allegiance to the idea and application of perfection in regard to sales. I want your every thought and priority to stoke the fire of securing the deal, and I want that fire to consume everything in your life like an addiction to hard drugs. I want that addiction to cost you relationships, health and sanity and still you to seek more. I want you to reach up through the soft soil of you burial mound with a pen and a contract and get one last commitment to buy before going to heaven and then I want at least two angels sold before you have lunch. If you believe in reincarnation, I want you to come back as a dog with a tiny little jacket that has pull tabs that say 'Come buy an RV from me!' but most of all I just want you to be happy... and by you, I mean me when you sell something."


Salesman; " You're off your meds today aren't you."


Me; "Maybe, why do you ask?"

What's Good for the Girlfriend is Good for Me...

Salesman; "Hey boss, i know I just got here but I need to leave. My girlfriend is really upset with me."


Me; "I understand. Take a little extra time at lunch and..."


Salesman; "No, I need the rest of the day to work this out!"


Me; "Okay but do me a favor?"


Salesman; "Sure, what do you need?"


Me; "When you see her make sure you tell her something....

Hey honey, I know I just got here but I need to leave. My boss is really upset with me."

Rain Man, Guns, and Crap filled Boots...

Salesman; "You're looking at me like I'm about to get it, or I did something wrong."

Me; "You're being paranoid. I was just thinking while we wait for your fellow salespeople to come in with their pad and pens for the meeting."

Salesman; "I know, I know, I didn't bring a pad and paper but let me explain."

Me; "Do tell."

Salesman; "When I was a Navy Seal, we had to memorize tactics and complicated incursion plans all the time. We had to do this without carrying a piece of paper around and we had to do it as a matter of life and death!"

Me; "When you were in the jungles of south Asia?"

Salesman; "Yes, you can picture us in the deep jungle or crawling through some nasty mud field and trying to carry a notebook? Never!"

Me; "First, I want to thank you for your service. I don't say that enough... Now that we've gotten that out of the way I need you to understand a few things;"

1. "When I picture you as a Navy Seal, my mind shuts down or locks in on a vision of 4 elite soldiers marching through the jungle while the squad leader, driven nearly insane, yells at you to stop defecating in your own boot!"
2. "I neither believe that you could remember then nor can remember now much more than your name and the location of Camel Lights at your local 7-11."
3. "I'm almost certain they let you in as an experiment in how ignorance can invert itself into a kind of genius... Like Rain Man only in the jungle crapping in his own boot... with an automatic weapon in hand!"

Salesman; "LOL. I didn't think you thought so lowly of me..."

Me; "That wasn't even the low part. Go get a pen and a pad!"

Language Barrier...

Salesman; "I don't understand why you are so upset with me! All I said is that we could deliver the coach sometime next week."

Me; "The customer isn't even approved through finance yet!"

Salesman; "Okay but..."

Me; "They don't have their down payment yet either!"

Salesman; "Yes but..."

Me; "They also aren't sure if they are going to set it up at their parent's property in Granbury or their friends property in Archer City!"

Salesman; "When you put it like that it makes me sound stupid."

Me; "Put it like what!? In English?"